In the four weeks beginning from now, the lab assistant named Welt will be bearing a heavy responsibility. Lab 42 is now on a “quasi-holiday” because the supercomputer Ada has been shackled with a computationally-heavy task — which means Welt needs to organise recreational activities for the two doctors every day for the entire period. Although one of the doctors proclaims that “Just because we're on vacation, doesn't mean we don't need to work some days”; given the personality of the other doctor, it seems difficult to say for certain what the workload is going to be like for Welt …

Ω:

When you do receive this letter, it should already be around the 31st.

Happy Halloween.

I heard that, because a certain Overseer pays special attention to this festival, I've had to make grand arrangements at Headquarters every year … Yes, the attached photo shows the state of my preparations this year.

By the way, something else to “celebrate”: starting this month, my lab's staff has been reduced to just me alone — so as you can see, even when taking a team photo, I can only take one of myself.

I haven’t heard from you recently. Is it because of the new opportunities that have rekindled your passion for life? I've heard you guys have been travelling back and forth between the Atlantic Ocean, and have been having a great time. However, the North American branch has always been rated poorly by Headquarters. If they happen to cause some sort of trouble amongst themselves, or be at loggerheads with each other, you mustn't blindly participate … I've heard that still water runs deep, and thing can get rather treacherous.

… But I'm also being stupid. When Gods fight, what does it matter to mere mortals like you and me? Best not talk about it any more. Now, I don't know what the weather is like in London — but the moonlight in Vienna tonight is indeed hard to come by; I will thus borrow the power of alcohol to guide us in a casual chat, about some things we cannot usually talk about. Well, it's a letter, so just let me talk, and you can just listen — don't take any of this too seriously.

I know that you are a person who likes reading. But … have you ever thought about what has caused us human beings, in our struggle against the Honkai, to be repeatedly thwarted, to suffer loss after loss? After all, what flaws make us vulnerable to constant forestalling by the Honkai, to the point that we are close to complete surrender, too tired to cope anymore?

In other words … why do we always, always, always repeat the same mistakes?

It is true that, throughout human history, we have been steadily progressing, and this trend of progress will unlikely be obstructed by any trivial event or matter; but what I've been seeing more, are those pioneers who stand on the crest of the wave — isolated and cut off from help, battered and bruised, caught between a rock and a hard place. Sometimes, they may even lose, defeated and embarrassed by their own human foibles. Spiritually, they may be giants, but sometimes physically or materially they are weaklings; their spiritual strength often takes a long time to be passed down to later generations, before they are eventually recognised as cherished paragons.

Earlier, I told you the story of Saint Kallen. However, what I want to say today is … Despite her strong force of character, nature instead granted her the body of an ordinary girl (although the bloodline of Kaslana is definitely nothing ordinary … but that won't make much difference to what I'm about to say here) — a body so weak and frail, one so minuscule and insignificant, that even the common folk can sentence her to death, so that even a lowly Honkai beast can take her life with ease.

Doesn't this make absolutely no sense?

The world we live in, it does not follow logic at all, and it does not respect the principle of equivalent exchange!

I will never forget what Kallen experienced during her brief life.

I am convinced that, for us humans, the greatest enemy is not the Honkai at all, but ourselves.

— We are too weak, so weak that our heroes are always powerless to save everyone; we are too weak, so weak that some of us would even doubt the motives of our heroes; we are too weak, so weak that we will sacrifice true justice for a small immediate gain; we are too weak, so weak that we can only negotiate short-term peace amidst mutual conflict, and that we have to resort to official, pompous-sounding words like “social order” and “ethics” to cover up our despicable motives.

The Saint … She is a Saint because, despite being as fragile as us, she is very different from us, for she is one — just the one, the only one — who does not fear her vulnerability. This kind of bravery, emanating from the heart, is like the sun to us ordinary folk — something we can all see, but can clearly never attain.

At least, compared to her … I am a complete coward.

Every one of us, harbouring this original sin called “fear”, trepidly seeks the answers to life's questions.

The Saint would never deride or jeer at us. But every time I realise we are living like this, I wish that I could kill myself with a single blow.

But imagine, if, if each of us really has a chance to rid ourselves of this fragility; if we can uproot this fear, this thought of “I am fragile” deeply rooted within our hearts … then we can create a new culture at that moment, one that is full of forgiveness, full of self-confidence, and full of vigour! And then this so-called “Honkai”, won't it then dwindle to something so small, so insignificant, as to be unworthy of further mention?

Such a world, would protect its own Saints.

Such a world, is more worthy of protection from its Saints.

If, if, if there is ever a chance that Kallen is able to shine upon this world stage again, then, this time, she will not struggle to progress because of our own meagreness.

I haven't tasted red wine for a long time, but I have really been drinking quite a bit today. In your opinion, this letter may be pure unintelligible incoherent rambling … but this doesn't matter. Before, I had been talking to you as a member of the organisation; today, let me be an ordinary researcher, and let me have a casual, self-opinionated rant for once.

I don't think the kind of world I have just imagined can be realised … but it doesn't matter. We still have a lot to do — don't we?

Your old friend, who has been acting a little strange today,

Clown Alpha

1955.10.28.